Demons Be Gone: In Defense of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods and the Tiger Woods PGA Tour Groupies have been under attack lately from golf fans and the golf media regarding his love of the language of golf, and his Nike golf equipment on-course "toughness test". Since Tiger is busy conjuring up other ways he can convince the world that he might not be perfect, it's up to the Tiger Woods Groupies to defend his honor.
1. We wonder if these "demons" (the ones that dare to doubt, dare to even think Tiger is anything but what God had in mind when he created man) have ever played golf before, because if they had, they'd understand what a bitch (shit, excuse the language) of a game it can be sometimes. Most golfers I know swear, bitch and complain more times in one round than Tiger has in an entire career. Well maybe not, but considering the amount of rounds Tiger has played in his life, the current level of shit, fucks or whatever he's been saying, is quite acceptable.
2. Related to above, you would think that the average hacker, which many of these demons are, would have some kind of understanding as to the level of Tigers frustrations. Most of us play golf at the most once a week and are ready to sell our clubs after the first bad shot and have used every swear word known to man before their first hole is over. I wonder how you'd feel if you'd been playing golf since you could hold a golf club, practice pretty much everyday all day and hit one 100 yards right? And does it not give you ANY pleasure to see the worlds best player, possibly of all time, get a little pissed off and make you feel better about your demon golf game? Shit, I guess not.
3. The demons main argument seems to be that Tiger is in the spotlight and is a role model. He certainly is in the spotlight, and has been since pre-puberty, and how many bad stories or scandals has there ever been written about Tiger? (That's a big fat "shit-bugger-bum get in the bloody hole" Zero) Does this not count for anything? Do you not find it amazing, quite "fuckin get back in the goddamn fairway" unbelievable that Tiger doesn't seem to have even missed the urinal ever? And look, if the club captain drags your kids back from the course because they were practicing up on their golf jargon and playing the golf course version of pin the tail on the donkey, I'm sorry - but that's not Tigers fault. If you can't teach your kids that certain behavior is not acceptable, you might want to spend more time on critiquing yourself rather than Tiger. I can see the Demons turning red now.
Of course, this is just a rather one-eyed view from a bunch of Tiger-extremists, and even if Tiger snorted a few lines off the inside of his Green Jacket then bombed a 6-pack, before lighting up a fattie and making donuts in the azaleas on his exit down magnolia lane, he would still be the greatest thing since the Scotty Cameron, and you would all still be demons. Be gone!
1. We wonder if these "demons" (the ones that dare to doubt, dare to even think Tiger is anything but what God had in mind when he created man) have ever played golf before, because if they had, they'd understand what a bitch (shit, excuse the language) of a game it can be sometimes. Most golfers I know swear, bitch and complain more times in one round than Tiger has in an entire career. Well maybe not, but considering the amount of rounds Tiger has played in his life, the current level of shit, fucks or whatever he's been saying, is quite acceptable.
2. Related to above, you would think that the average hacker, which many of these demons are, would have some kind of understanding as to the level of Tigers frustrations. Most of us play golf at the most once a week and are ready to sell our clubs after the first bad shot and have used every swear word known to man before their first hole is over. I wonder how you'd feel if you'd been playing golf since you could hold a golf club, practice pretty much everyday all day and hit one 100 yards right? And does it not give you ANY pleasure to see the worlds best player, possibly of all time, get a little pissed off and make you feel better about your demon golf game? Shit, I guess not.
3. The demons main argument seems to be that Tiger is in the spotlight and is a role model. He certainly is in the spotlight, and has been since pre-puberty, and how many bad stories or scandals has there ever been written about Tiger? (That's a big fat "shit-bugger-bum get in the bloody hole" Zero) Does this not count for anything? Do you not find it amazing, quite "fuckin get back in the goddamn fairway" unbelievable that Tiger doesn't seem to have even missed the urinal ever? And look, if the club captain drags your kids back from the course because they were practicing up on their golf jargon and playing the golf course version of pin the tail on the donkey, I'm sorry - but that's not Tigers fault. If you can't teach your kids that certain behavior is not acceptable, you might want to spend more time on critiquing yourself rather than Tiger. I can see the Demons turning red now.
Of course, this is just a rather one-eyed view from a bunch of Tiger-extremists, and even if Tiger snorted a few lines off the inside of his Green Jacket then bombed a 6-pack, before lighting up a fattie and making donuts in the azaleas on his exit down magnolia lane, he would still be the greatest thing since the Scotty Cameron, and you would all still be demons. Be gone!
posted by 65UNDER.COM at
9:21 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home